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What men can do

But while an overview of this cultural trend looks bleak, I think
there's hope—and it lies not in concentrating on the big picture, but
in focusing on our individual faith. Each of us men needs to focus on
strengthening our walks, finding a mentor and/or a protégé, and
becoming active in the local church.



An ideal side effect of this shift in focus would be
that we set an example for other men, and perhaps help balance the
gender picture in churches. But regardless of the dating picture, or
even how churches look at singles, we men need to set a standard of
living for God.



What women can do

Camerin: When I was at that international conference
discovering the global shortage of single Christian men, I prayed
silently after one conversation: "God, you obviously are revealing a
trend to me. But please don't leave me there. I don't want to just sit
with this knowledge and become frustrated. I need action steps. I want
something to do with this information." So, I'm doing what I know: I'm
writing about it. Sounding the alarm, so to speak, that something's
wrong. Pleading with our churches to target this missing demographic.
And praying, as I've been doing since that conference, for revival
among the single men of this world.



I think prayer is one of the best things women can
do about this trend. One woman who responded to a column I wrote about
the man-shortage put it so eloquently: "My prayer today is that we as
women of God begin to pray for our men like never before, not out of
selfish motivation but out of a sincere place of longing for our
brothers to take their rightful places in church, in ministry, and
maybe, just maybe, in our hearts."
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Now i know you all mean well by saying what u did in this part, but quite frankly this isnt going to work!!!

I am not going to pretend to be an expert on singles or relationships since my only relationship as a christian was a disaster and outside of being a christian i was never in a relationship anyway, i can say that this is a situation of doing and not so much praying. Our walk with God is something to be constantly worked on and improved daily. Here's what i noticed in my church and this may not apply to your church but listen anyway:

the men and women are like two different species sharing the same air, they dont think alike they dont act alike and the communication between single men and single women is poor at best, women stick to their own kind and men are left out in the cold. There are few single men in the church now since the last spate of marriages between 2k3 and 2k6 but not all of them stuck together, some people broke up and left the church all together. I see something in there. The lack of communication and understanding between the genders. There's talk but sometimes u feel like if youre kept at an arms length distance. As a man, would u want to persue dating a woman that makes u feel like that? No you wouldnt.
Would you persue a woman that u feel you cant understand... hell no!!!
If you look at the sisters that get all the dates, fact is, they arent separating themselves from the brothers and they feel free to let them into their lives. i feel alot of times, that's what some men want, the feling that theyre useful. if they cant be of any use to a woman, why bother
That's the first issue

Now i come from a country wherer the dating model didnt exist beyond christian churches, a woman could be your girlfriend within a matter of weeks after first meeting her and marriages (successful ones at that) could be formed (very similar to the islamic model except the time period is shorter here). Now this is just my country. The dating model isnt the only way but it's treated like it. Biblically if u look around, there isnt much dating going on, but happy marriages can be found, why, because the method of courtship isnt the issue, it's what's expected of courtship and marriage, love and purity along with Godly care and respect.

Now for the big issue at hand, getting brother's baptised in the first place:
It's pretty easy to get a woman to be baptised, on averagethey go down faster, they study more and they adhere to the word of god like glue when challenged. Men are Macho, men are proud, men are single minded in their view of the world. We dont like being told what to do, we like to see if our way works, we dont like to submit, we like to control infact, in today's world we are expected to be like this. If you want men to be baptised and turn their lives to god, u need to find a way to convince them to be humble, to take advice, to grow in spirituality and to approach meekness not as a weakness but as a strength. And quite frankly, youre not gonna do that with what the wrld sees as christianity now, it's pish posh, weak and meager looking, it looks like a woman thing. Christianity and godliness in today's society looks powerless. When you look at scriptural examples however, the men are bold, strong, and agressive in their lives and in their relationship with God. In no scripture have i ever seen Jesus petting a lamb, he was out challenging pharasees and healing those in need, giving of himself till he had to pull himself away to regenerate and pray. We keep saying pray pray pray and never Go forth!!! You want to bring men into the kingdom of god, they you, we, me have to show them godly boldnessseparate and distinct from being macho, show them david, show them jesus, show them joshua in this light. the take charge men. Then when they get all pumped up and ready to take charge for god, complete their knowledge and faith by shoing them Jesus, James and John and the other writers of love and meekness. and it's not only non christian men that need this, it's the christians as well. Then you take the women and make us one body not two. so that they understand us and our needs and we understand them and theirs. I dont see it working any other way.

As i said before, i'm no professional, not dating expert and no superchristian. This is just what i see. and as i said earlier, Our relationship with god is a work in progress until we die so it most times isnt the issue when it comes to dating, it's our relationships with one another. There are single men out there. they just cant see you.