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i recall in my earlier years that christmas was a time i look forward too . in fact i wish christmas was every day but as i get older is like i have become like the grinch i have lost that joy and excitement associated with christmas time. so if you have the christmas spirit cherish it and nurtured it because if you dont it will turn into christmas duppy. so instead of a season of cheer you have a season of gloom. christmas is once a year let it be of love, respect and brotherhood....

you know when you say you are living a celibate life and being pure before God and man. as cold front and time get cold you draw for a blanket or comforter cause the thought of a live blanket is not even consider. truly God made man and woman to be together but sometimes you just have to soldier it out without a man and the whole heap a drama. so when the night get colder you just cover your head sing a sankey and say a good thing me body naw hackle tonight :-) cause when them jamaican man start fling it up pon you you bawl fi your mother ,God and even duppy what a stress. anyway the weather soon get warmer and me sure that man still a sleep by themself even inna dis ya cold front so that makes two of us. anyway me feget how agonyn feels why at a time like this i would miss pleasure pain when making love should not even bring pain but when dem jamaican men a sex them mek them face and gwaan bex so the end result you feel like a train lick you :-)...

on friday november 3,2006 i started a milestone in my life i am now living on a dialysis machine. on that day a catheter was put in my neck for me to start my disalysis. this started on the following day and a new life begins for me. truly this is not a life anyone expected at 33 years old but reality hits, in order for me to live i have to be dialysis two times a week and without this i would be dead. i never envision a life like this in fact i was opposed to this option and prefer getting a donor but in the interim i was told i have to be dialyse. i will be starting my third treatment at winchester surgical medical & institute dialysis unit on thursday and each time i go on the machine i have to pay $7000 what a life to live. this is the life i am now living and it is hard to swallow because i dont even achive half my goals. no one ever think that sickness will come this soon i was diagnose in 2002 with focal and segmental glueroscelosis of the kidney now 4 years later i am living on a machine every monday and thursdays i have to be dialyse to live. dont take life for granted it is a privilege for some of us and for others we have pay to live. i would be grateful for any prayers at this time because it is not easy for me to deal with this new life. dialysis is either catheter a tube attached to the neck or fistula attached to the hand that is attached to a dialysis machine to help cirulate and regulate blood and toxins in the body. the dialysis act the role of the kidney to regualate toxins in thebody like urea. the dialysis is an artifificial kidney that performs the function of the bad kidneys,...

truly as a woman living in these times it is the expected behaviour that when you reach young adulthood and onwards that you will find the ideal partner and settle down. however lately i have seen a new breed of men emerging in ou society that dont seem to be the ideal macho man . we are not having men who are transvestite simple put dressing like women and is now a norm for some of them to look femine. morally the days are gone by when men are dating women and getting to know them that has not been prescribe to by most men. it is now common for a man you barely know introducing is man "hood" the first time he sees you . to these men their sexuality is their best asset and they believe we women are getting the best of them. simple some of them dont even know what is love making they are like a beast in the bedroom . yet every woman has her perception of a who a good man is to her and it is in my dear opinion that these new breed of men needs to be transform into a real man . where are the men who know how to treat a woman like a queen. dont tell me they are all married cause that idea is baseless. could it be all the good men are now extinct like the dinosaurs. despite the shortcomings of men lately i must say they do compliment us well and i cant imagine living without my male counterpart but trust me some of these men can do much better and i do hope that they at least see that their male roles and image are being threatened women no longer look up to some of them as head anymore because they are slacking in the things some of them should do.Men we need good role models for our boys growing up we dont want a generation of men who dont even know common courtesy to be showed to a woman and respect that is due to us. there needs to be a line of demarcation between how male dresses and females and in fact some of these men who sits around expecting female to work and they laze around needs to get up and be a man. Now for a woman like me it is hard for me to look to some of these men and submit in fact i am not a submissive woman but i have to live by God's law and it says the man is the head . Men please act as responsible head and display positive behaviours that your sons can replicate and i dont mean have ' NUFF WOMEN INNA BUNGLE" Remember children live what they learn....

the forgotten paradise...

time to move forward as a great nation...

GOD will guide and direct your going out and coming in...

i never stop missing you...

every waking moment is all about you...